So, yeah….

•September 2, 2011 • Leave a Comment

Okay, so it has been a crazy long time since I have updated this blog. I will give you the semi short version of what has been going on. As per my last post, the expectant mother we were matched with did deliver, we were there, three days later she changed her mind and we came home. Within a week or so we began to hear from her that she wasn’t sure if she had made the right decision. Long story short, at five weeks old, we returned and went to court with the birthmother who placed with us. So, we are the super proud parents of the most amazing little girl on the planet who is now six months old. A LOT has happened eh? Any way, I will be starting a new blog and will post a link to it here in order to document our search to become parents, but our journey as parents in an open adoption. Apologies for any one who doesn’t know me personally read this and wondered what the hell happened. Were it me reading I would assume that I had a total melt down….which in some ways I kind of was, although I think I always felt in my heart, we would hear from her again and things would work out. Either way I held steadfastly to my faith and knowing God did not have plans to harm me, and was in control. Again, sorry for the crazy delay in what was new, and again I will post a link to the new blog.❤


So, new blog link is on the right or go to

Starting over

•March 4, 2011 • 3 Comments

So the latest update is this, the expectant mother we were matched with has delivered! I was actually in the delivery room and saw this beautiful baby be born.  It was quite an experience. After three days however, she decided not to continue with the adoption plan and to parent. We have always understood that nothing was a done deal until it is a done deal and tried to prepare ourselves for that. It has been hard, and our hearts are broken. However we support her right to make this decision and hope for the best for her and her child. We know the right situation is out there for us somewhere and we will just have to keep the faith. We appreciate everyones kindness and the out pouring of support we have received. We feel a real peace that God has a plan for us and we are still excited to see what that is! This experience is a roller coaster indeed.

What in the world is going on in our world?????

•December 7, 2010 • 3 Comments

So you may be wondering, as it has been FOREVER since a post what has been going on. A lot has happened since the last post. We have had kind of a whirl wind of things happen. Several contacts who we talked to but bottom line, we had THE contact November 10th from an expectant mom, who has chosen us! We have talked with her a lot, she has come and stayed with us for the weekend and we love her so much! We always had hopes for what the “perfect match” would be like, and this has surpassed that by leaps and bounds. We have developed such an amazing relationship with her already. We know that with open adoption, nothing is done until it is done, so although she has chosen us, she will have to basically choose us again after birth, and we are prepared for that. (as much as we can be). Bottom line, we have met this amazing girl who I now can’t imagine not having in my life,🙂 Anyway, like I said, reason for no posts, there has been so much going on, and it was difficult to know what and how to post. This opens up to everyone, and while I don’t mind “putting my business” out there, I want to try to maintain her privacy. So, thus the lack of too many details about the expectant mother. We are so over the moon about all of this, and for a lot of reasons. I knew we would be over the moon to be “matched” and closer to our hopes of becoming parents, but as much for that, or even more so, because we have this new amazing person in our lives. I know it may sound like a load of BS, but there are times in life when you meet a person and know, there is an instant connection, something beyond the both of you, and that is how it is with her. So, we will be excited for the relationship as it exists now, and we are. Three people, with an amazing connection, a tentative plan for our futures, and love for each other. Just enjoying the ride and allowing God to work in our lives. We feel so unbelievably blessed right now, for what we have RIGHT NOW, not JUST the possibility of what is the future,but for right now! Okay, think that is what I have got for  now. I will keep you posted as we move along. We appreciate everyone’s interest, prayers, and support. We appreciate you respecting our and more importantly the expectant mom’s privacy.🙂 We have trusted in God’s hand to guide us and move us through this journey, what a miracle and blessing to see it in action. Never ceases to amaze me.

Meiko, my favorite summer album..

•October 13, 2010 • 1 Comment

So, not much to write in awhile, but thought I would post a couple of songs from my most favorite album of this summer. I have said before, music is truly such a soundtrack of my life (cliche I know) and I will always relate these songs to this summer. I spent many many hours laying on the beach listening to this album. There are definitely pieces of both these songs that very much relate to where I am now. Anyways, also just want to spread the word about this fantastically talented lady! Enjoy!!🙂

Not great videos, but you get to hear them at least. This whole album is awesome so check it out!! We are headed off to the beach again for a long weekend to celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary. (which is officially tuesday of next week) Wow, 14 years! It’s hard to believe really. Can not believe it has been that long, guess time flies when you are having fun🙂




Mums, monsters and meatloaf

•October 3, 2010 • Leave a Comment

SO, it is finally starting to feel like fall. Which I love as it is my MOST favorite season! Cool/rainy day+day at home+PMS=my need to cook comfort foods! Meatloaf, macaroni and cheese and homemade chocolate chip pecan cookies. Looks like I am running a couple extra miles tomorrow! We have had such a beautiful couple of days here! I got some mums for the front porch Friday. I think I will go back and get some pansies for my flower boxes out back. We went to First Night Friday downtown to see a friend’s piece in show called “Monster Mash” Friday evening. The piece was amazing! He was super stoked and won 3rd place! It was great to see him so excited and get some well deserved recognition for his work. We bought a little piece at the show. I should have thought to take a pic of it to post on here, but alas I did not. I will get to pick it up at the end of the showing. (end of the month) It is called “Patty the under the bed monster!” It is creepy and cute and I plan on putting it in the nursery. I have been building a collection of books, but this is the first art work. I plan on painting a few of my own for the room. Plus, I have my little art project for the room in the works. The plan is to have friends and family who are artists to pick a song they wish to dedicate to our child and use that as inspiration for an art piece! Then our little one will have their own little art gallery of art especially for them! I will make a book with the stories of each piece and the songs that go with them. I need to get to work on mine! Anyways, after the show Friday, some family and friends came over and hung out. We had a great time hanging out and chatting and catching up. It has been a perfect fall weekend capped off by a beautifully lazy Sunday🙂

Tale of the unknown caller…..

•September 27, 2010 • Leave a Comment

So, as those of you who have been on the potential adoptive parent (PAP) side of open adoption know, when your phone rings with an unknown number, your heart begins to race. Is this it?? Is this a wrong number?? Is this one of those “fishing” calls to see if it is a legitimate number?? For those of you who have not experienced it, let me tell you, its SUPER AWESOME. I have come to have an odd relationship with my phone ringing. I can’t say I am a fan of it, but it is the relationship we share now. So, when the phone rings, before I glance at the number is the initial pause of, “hmmm” then if I see it is a number I don’t recognize, the heart races, and I am scared to answer! Scared it isn’t a contact, and scared it IS. Do I want someone to call?? OF COURSE I do, but its kind of a terrifying prospect! Exciting, but terrifying at the same time. I have heard tales of calls in which you hold the line and said mystery caller says nothing on the other end to simple hang ups when you answer. I can not begin to imagine the difficulty of dialing the number on the other side and how scary it is to make that call. Its like a weird blind date of sorts, I guess. I don’t know that there is a way to describe it really. An initial contact with another person, who you are about to quite possibly share one of the most important an intimate parts of your life with. Weird., and wonderful. Thankfully the days of staring at my phone and checking it every two seconds for any missed calls have passed, though we still share an odd relationship me and my phone. So I patiently wait for THE long awaited, exciting and terrifying phone call, and in the meantime have a love/hate relationship with my little green Iphone🙂



•September 19, 2010 • Leave a Comment

We have had a lovely weekend here in ‘ol Raleigh. Got an impromptu invite to see Little Shop of Horrors Friday with two of my sisters, which was awesome. Hadn’t seen it in so long forgot how funny and dark it is. Afterwards we walked around downtown and got to be in the midst of a Flash mob in the middle of Sparkcon, an annual showcase of arts, music, entertainment and fashion downtown. It lasts all weekend and there was some cool stuff going on, artists working on their sidewalk art pieces for the competition, music, dancing and it felt fantastic out. We actually returned Saturday to see how some of those pieces progressed and watch the little kids learn to juggle, hula hoop, participate in the art competition, live graffiti, just lots of cool stuff. We really do get to partake in a lot of cool things in the area, and they are increasing in frequency which makes me happy🙂 In these moments I find myself getting more and more excited imagining us some day in the future with our child at these events. I can’t wait to watch them discover the world and themselves. The idea of watching a little person experience all these things, and helping foster their creativity and imagination will be the most amazing gift. Anyways, it was a great weekend🙂